You have been in Japan too long....

A little light-heared humour which will be appreciated mostly by those who have lived in Japan (or are familiar with Japanese culture):

You have been in Japan too long...

• when you are tongue-tied to find your words in your mother tongue.

• when you realise you need feet massage and hot baths in winter because it's colder inside your house than outside.

• when you select shoes based on how easily you can get them on and off.

• when you think they mean your neighborhood whenever you hear U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name."

• when you stand in front of a taxi and wait till the driver will open the door.

• when you refer to your nose when you say "I".

• when you cut the air with your hand (like a sword) when you want to cross a group of people

• when you think Y4000 is a reasonable prize for a nice melon. (approx. $40)

• when you finally start enjoying some Japanese TV programs. (will have to start watching TV before this happens..!)

• when you say sumimasen whenever you want to apologize for things that might happen or maybe not.

• when you know exactly the percentage of opening of cherry blossoms near your house, and watch attentively their development day after day, then talk about it with anyone you meet.

• when you want to travel, but have no time because of your work and are reluctant because foreign countries are so dangerous.

• when you wonder what omiyage you'll bring back to your colleagues and friends before leaving for you holiday/vacation

• when you wish you have a fan in summer to cool yourself on the street.

• when you look for people in front of a train station who distribute paper handkerchiefs.

• when you make a bow after getting the money from the cash machine.

• when you leave the warm water in the bath tub for your kids.

• when you end your statements with random vagueness.

• when you buy gifts for co-workers whenever you leave town, even if it's just for a few hours.

• when you don't bat an eye when you see a salary man on the train looking at a magazine with nudity.

• when you can convert katakana back to English without having to first sound it out ten times slowly.

• when you plan you next holiday back home as a savanah expedition

• when you start loving natto.

• when you can't even have a family picnic without an opening and closing ceremony.

• when you think eating with otemoto is faster than with fork and knife (and actually you are faster with it).

• when you take your shoes off...in the dressing room of a clothing store.

• when you find yourself nodding your head back to the newscaster at the beginning and end of a newscast.

• when you start to believe that nori makes the hair stronger.

• when you hide from the NHK man routinely.

• when you read English words and start reading with Japanese pronunciations (e.g., DATE becomes da-to).

• when you actually dream in Japanese.

• when you return to your home country and drink soup directly from the bowl when you think no one is looking as it's so much easier.

• when you think US$7 is not bad for a cup of coffee and a sliver of cake or pie.

• when you answer "hai!" even when speaking English to non-Japanese friends.

• when you don't need a restroom to pee in public.

• when you believe no party is complete without a trip to the karaoke.

• when someone says "mansion" you picture a two-bedroom flat in a 400-unit apartment building.

• when you mutter "yoshi!" when lifting heavy objects or reaching the top of the stairs.

• when you make a loud "haaah" after each sip of hot tea.

• when you notice improvement in your Nihongo when you start ordering "hotto doggu" instead of "atsui inu"!

• when you start wondering if the policeman in front of you will check you bicycle registration just because you are a "gaijin".

• when you are tired of being asked if your country has four seasons, if you can eat sushi and natto, eat chopsticks and sleep on a futon, although you have been here for years.

• when you go back to your home country and are surprised to see so many gaijin.

• when you ask other foreigners what kanji they chose for their hanko.

• when you have changed your keitai’s ringtone 10 times this week and wonder what which tune you should download next.

• when you can't stop saying "samui, samui" to yourself when it's a bit cold, and "atsui, atsui" when it's slightly too hot.

• when you start saying "eeeh" and "oooh" in front of the TV, just to do like everybody.

• when you think that "minus image" is proper English (as in "these clothes really give him minus image").

• when you think that that taking 5 kinds of kanpou (Chinese herbal medicine) all year round is necessary to keep you healthy.

• when you check which dog is popular at the moment before buying one.

• when you look forward to winter in your Japanese house so you can store beer and frozen foods in your bedroom and bathroom.

• when you are worried because the cherry blossoms are late.

• when you watch Chinese or Korean movies relying on the Japanese subtitles.

Yep....I think I've been here maybe a little too long...!

Moving on to a completely different (and not nearly as funny) topic, I'm still without a heater. I haven't been spending much time in my apartment, other than to sleep, because it's so cold...it's colder inside than it is outside!